Friday, February 18, 2011

Blind spots

Know about blind spots?

Yes, same blind spots that we encounter while driving.

If we don't look over our shoulders while changing lanes, it's possible that we will miss a car or bike which is in our blind spot.

Have you been impacted by one?

Simple technique is to look over in addition to relying on mirrors before changing lanes.

You can also get those tiny mirrors which you glue to one corner of your side mirrors to get better view of the blind spots.

But, nothing is safer than really turning your head to make absolutely sure.

Sometimes motorbikes miss all that and accidents can be fatal.

Anyway, why all this? Coming to the point now.

Do you think we have blind spots in our personalities as well?

Do you think you know everything about yourself?

I doubt. I believe we all know about ourselves the way we would like to know about ourselves.

Some people know themselves much more accurately than others.

Like everything else we see the life (which includes us) the way we would like to see and NOT really the way it is.

So, we have blind spots in our personalities too.

God took care of that.

He continues to give us equivalent of those tiny mirrors that help us see blind spots clearly.

What are they?

So called DIFFICULT people in our lives.

They are there to help us see our own blind spots.

I recently finished reading an excellent book - Path to the soul by Dr. Ashok Bedi.

Got this insight from that book.

When I thought about this and looked back, it made perfect sense.

Difficult people come into our lives to show us what we need to change. Sometimes they create such situations that things become so painful that we have no other way than changing ourselves or situations. That's exactly God's plan.

Since we do not seem to understand God's plan in any easy way, He has to make it little hard for in our lives and make us suffer a bit. He uses so-called-difficult people to help us uncover our own blind spots.

So, let's look at so-called-difficult-people as helpers rather than people to avoid. Of course we can avoid them. But, if we do not see what's in the blind spot, it will only get worse.

Many times I have seen those so-called-difficult-people vanish as soon as we recognize our blind spots and take care of the situation. That's what they were meant to accomplish. Their job is over.

Either you stop seeing them as difficult people or you change the situation such a way that point of they being there does not arise at all. Example - If you change jobs to avoid toxic work place, then you changed the situation.

In any case, it made absolute sense to me.

Dr. Bedi advises us look at such people as our own reflection with some things that we are not able to see ourselves. Like our back which we can not see ourselves.

Learn what those people are trying to teach. Make necessary changes and move on. After that they won't be there or they won't bother you.

Can you put up with difficult people and endure the pain?

I think it depends how smart you are and how much is your pain tolerance.

I see that sometimes it has to become so much painful for people to change. That's how we humans are. We do not look at pain and pleasure the same way. People won Nobel prize applying this principle and started a new field called behavioral finance. People rather do everything to avoid pain but are not willing exert even 10% of that effort to go after what is good for them.

As GK Chesterton said - God's divine hammer has to fall on us and cause some discomfort before we change.

Excellent book by Dr. Bedi. Rare book that combines wisdom of eastern spirituality with modern psychiatry.


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