Wednesday, October 29, 2008

New definition of old finance terms

Picked these up from somewhere on the net. Enjoy!!!

CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Reliance Power at Rs. 550.00 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

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